No back to school pictures for us, again.
We’ve not given up, and in fact, I’m fighting my best fight right now – sadly 9 years of experience has taught me how to “play the game”. Currently in two tribunal appeals for my biggest girl, and about to submit one for my youngest, alongside the regular “communication” – let’s call it that for the sake of politeness – with several Local Authority departments, and actually doing my best to provide some sort of accessible education for my girls myself, meeting their actual, real, everyday needs in the process. I’m falling very short, but still doing a million times better than the education system that exists for this purpose.
Oh and those appeals? I’m not holding my breath for any quick resolutions. The hearing date currently set for the second of my biggest girl’s is 15th November 2027. Yep, that’s not a typo. And I’ve just had to challenge the LA through formal complaint when the officer (APO) dealing with our case said they couldn’t do anything until the tribunals were resolved. Er, no.
My biggest girl has just turned 13. She has NEVER been able to access education in the typical sense of going to school everyday and learning something. She’s had a publicly-funded specialist school placement for the last 3 years, which she’s been able to access a handful of times, including just two 90 minute sessions last October, and that was it. No work sent home, no discussion with the school how they could meet her needs, only further misunderstanding and trauma.
The school and I agreed over a year ago that the placement should stop, and someone else could have her place whilst something different was put in place for my girl. But no, up until last month, the LA wanted to continue to name them as her school and pay an undisclosed amount, £1000s per term, to that school, whilst I’m stuck at home on basic beneifts, unable to work, and paying for all our educational resources and experiences myself. Whatever your thoughts about SEND education, surely just the economic side of this deserves our outrage? Even without the social, psychological, and dare I say, educational factors.
My biggest girl will be 14 by the time that tribunal appeal is heard, if the date remains as is, 14. If, and it’s a big IF, it’s favourable, she might get an education appropriate to her needs and abilities then. But what about the lost years? What about the friends not made, the experiences not shared, the learning not learnt? I’m doing my best to nurture her potential and show her that she can pursue her dreams, despite her efforts to engage every single year being thwarted. But I am just also her exhausted mother.
As for my youngest? She’s so traumatised she never wants to leave the house to go near a school again, but also can’t access education without significant support, more than I can offer.
And so, we keep fighting, we keep encouraging, we keep on keeping on, because what’s the alternative? And maybe one day, we’ll have a Back to School picture of our own to share, though it might look a bit different to the rest.